


Not a word

by thewhatever



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, Cuddling, Hand Jobs, Levi's POV, M/M, Porn with(out?) Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:26:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23342416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhatever/pseuds/thewhatever
Summary: At times, I felt an urge to bring it up.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Not a word

We talked about a lot of things. Serious matters, unimportant stuff and in some weak moments, we could also get a little bit emotional. We were friends, even close friends, I dared to say. However, we never talked about this. At times, I felt an urge to bring it up, to ask why he had started it in the first place. To ask him why I had continued. Something told me that I should have remained silent, though. And so I did. It wasn’t that hard. Those thoughts got easily lost in everyday problems. Training cadets, planning for the next expedition, negotiations for more funds and supplies, taking care of horses. Everything stayed the same every time, nothing changed, so it seemed there was no need to get distracted.

We shared a room and, occasionally, we shared a bed, too. For a while, a few minutes, maybe an hour, maybe two. I never knew for sure how long it always took. Not that it mattered, after all.  
Sometimes, it felt like the bed couldn’t be wide enough for his huge frame only, but this was one of those rare moments I could be thankful for my small body, so we fitted, and we even left a few centimetres between us. At first.  
The first touches were always shy, as if asking for a permission, and it didn’t change even for the second, fifth nor tenth time this happened. Fingers playing with hair, putting the strands away from the forehead. Stroking slowly, soothing. His hand warmed my cheek, while mine must have felt like ice to his face where I sometimes found a light stubble alongside his sharp cheekbones and jawline. At this point, I turned to face him; he was already lying on his side. Not that I saw it. It was dark, only shining moon provided a little bit of light through the window as we hadn’t drawn the curtains. However, I never opened my eyes, not for a second. I myself didn’t know why, but I felt more comfortable this way.  
We stayed like this for a while, caressing each other, enjoying the moment. There was some tension as well, though. Not aggressive, more like anticipation. A neck, shoulders and arms were still kind of a safe zone to touch. We held hands for a moment, thumbs slowly stroking skin, almost in a loving way.  
I wasn’t sure which one of us pulled closer. My knees touched his thighs, our chests almost meeting each other with every breath, which I could feel on my face, as it was so close to his. And then, we broke the thing between us I would have called innocent; not right, it probably wasn’t right, although, I believed at least, unharmful. Fingers found their way on an abdomen, under the clothing, tracing muscles, palms stroking the skin. Slowly, still seeming uncertain if they were allowed to do this. I got goosebumps. A quick touch on a nipple, feeling almost accidental, but we both knew good enough to believe it. The other hand joined the first, both continuing to explore the whole body. Exactly at this time, I was jealous of his long limbs. He could reach anywhere, touching my chest, my legs, my back, my butt under the pants. I was trying to copy his movements, I wanted to enjoy his whole body, too, it was just perfect to touch. Strong, toned, hot. I felt so small next to him when he was embracing me, like I could get lost in him, revealed skin burning pressed together. My hands couldn’t be cold anymore. The arousal was building up fast. We ended up panting into each other’s lips, while our hands were still travelling on the other’s body. Our mouths were so close, too close, divided only by millimetres, and in that moment, I wondered if he was going to kiss me tonight. My heart was racing, my guts were twisting nervously. Was he going to cross this line? For a reason, this one felt way more intimate than anything else we had done, and I caught myself wishing he would have done that. He didn’t and I didn’t move my head a bit, either. Instead, he buried his face into my neck, so I could feel his hot lips at least against my skin. He didn’t kiss me there, his lips just simply were there and I was perfectly aware of them. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time.  
Touches were gradually becoming needier, hastier and less gentle. Occasional scratching on the back, squeezing the butt, pinching hardening nipples, pulling them. Clothes still stood in the way, but as well as we never kissed, we also never undressed, even though it was rather unpractical. Pulling the shirt up to the neck seemed to do the trick and that was enough. Legs tangled, bare chests pressed to each other, hands trying to memorize every part of the body. And we still needed more. I could perfectly feel the hard erection poking my thigh. So, in the end, a hand found its way to the loose pants, fingers curled around the cock and started working. The other hand continued playing with the nipples or simply touching wherever it desired. The room was suddenly full of panting, gasping and sometimes silent whining that escaped although we were trying hard to mute the sound. It was becoming too much, hips were jerking, seeking more stimulation. Everything was more and more hurried, we were flushed, pressing our bodies together as if we would have liked to make them one. And in one moment, it all just took him over the edge. I followed him soon after.  
As we caught breath after the release, we didn’t wait for anything else. I never looked him in the face after this, uncertain if on purpose. In the dark of the room neither of us would have been able to read much from it, after all, so in fact, there was no reason to worry that one of us would find out. I wasn't sure what. Just something. We got out of the bed, never even lit a candle, cleaned up the mess we made and took turns in the bathroom, then each of us crawled into his own bed. I was always the one to break the silence.  
“Good night,” I said in a hoarse voice and received a silent “good night” back. And this was the time to close my eyes and go to sleep, waking up the next morning to the same daily routine, to worry about other things and to act that nothing had happened yesterday so it could happen once again next time. We never spoke a word about it. Not a single word.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first published work in English. Please, do not hesitate to let me know about possible grammatical errors if you've found any! Also, I'd be grateful for any kind of feedback. <3


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